lamia - ur girl next door.....

sigh.......there i go again!

2003-09-26T17:23:00.000+08:00

once again i chiken-out form do or die plan....i really want to end it but i can't seem to pull the plug...maybe..i just love him too damn much and afraid of not having him around anymore...most of all the thot of seeing him everyday in the office if we decided to call it quits...tolonggg.....like my best fren said, since i'm a muslim, by hukum we must get married...if not we are doomed in hellfire...that is scary...i want to make it rite sooo badly, not just for the sins but because i really love him so much....today i send my fren to the ferry terminal...he went back to celebrate his niece's birthday and i thot that was so nice of him...hehehe...oh yes, for get to tell that sayang now warded coz of his knee surgery....pity him but at the same time i'm so sad, dissapointed and angry of him and myself....

Rather Gloomy

2003-08-05T13:02:00.000+08:00

i must say that nothing sure in anything we human do....we enjoy hurting people if not ourselves....life sucks for me now !!...commitment problem. Wish i have the gut to do what i've plan for this couple of days...i'm going for the ultimatum...either love me or leave me..that plain simple!....no more lies, nomore cries.....gosh, hope i can be strong tis time....last time i remembered crying like hell....i'm was so thick-skin...can't seem to let him go even then i know all i get from this relationship is pity.....so pathetic of me!!!....i feel used actually....sometimes i feel he just just wanna have sex...and stupid me thot its love...come on lamia...time to wake up !!!!

it's concert day !

2003-08-04T17:06:00.000+08:00

uyeeee, thank god human created weekends....feel soo damn xhausted...need rest desperately....time to unwind my crazy schedule....well, saturday nite atleast i got to entertain my self by watching that stupid AF concert...despite all the stupid emotional drama it does have some gud singers like vince and rosma i must say....hehehehe...watched with my frens at level 2.....havoc...but my darling didn't want to watch it...he hate that show....On sunday plak, we had brekfast mamam nasik lemak kat tmpat pakcik slow.....hehehe.....darling kene pegi opis....well, after i came back from UK i did a lot of thinking bout my pathetic love life.....i think i shud do something bout it.......hang on or just end it.....feel sad thinking bout it...

New Beginning

2003-08-01T13:36:00.000+08:00

aarrggg...another month..another new beginning...work,work,work and more work....yesterday my bf work really2 late..pity him....some details bout him kay.....hhmmm...he's a year younger than me, medium size, not too tall but not short ok...hehe...pleasant looking and not the kind with drop dead georgeous figure either....but he's very caring and lovable.....i really love to hug him...feel sooo nice....he's my yogi bear....hehehe....especially after we make love....those moments....yikes !..if my mom ever read this she'll be screaming at me at the top of her lung....hehehe...yes mom, ur little girl is not a virgin anymore....not since july last year.....deep down, i regretted it now...but it is something that cannot be undo so i just have to deal with it....menyesal pun tak guna kan.....

testing

2003-07-31T11:11:00.000+08:00

testing aaaa...heheeh

2003-07-31T10:57:00.000+08:00

hhmm.....finally i have my very own 'virtual' diary.....hehehe...have been reading other people's so maybe its the rite time to share my thots with anyone out there.....intro..intro....a simple person with really2 simple lifestyle and about to reach the big "30" this sept...ahaks!!!!...dunno whether I shud laugh it off or cry my heart out....just ironic even to think bout it really !....well, life goes on....thats enough, catch u all later okay.....got to do some work here....hehehehe....psssttt, boss suma tengah miting.....anak tikus apa lagi...kenduri ler!!!!

2003-07-31T10:47:00.000+08:00

ME, MYSELF AND I.......HEHEHEHE